(via ambervictoriaaa)

gavinandstaceythings:

BRYN: Right, i’m gonna start running this lot down to ‘The Dolphin’, umm, Where’s the Salad Dor?
DORIS: Where’s the Salad? Where’s the Salad? THERE’S THE SALAD! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!

(via gavinandstaceythings-deactivate)

Since the digital switchover my freeview box keeps freezing like crazy. It’s stuck on this though so I really don’t mind in the slightest.

(via ambervictoriaaa)

Doris: “I told him to stick it, Pam. Coming over here, taking our jobs!”

Pam: “Where was he from, Poland?”

Doris: “No. Newport.”

(via hellyeahgavinandstacey)

“Who killin em in the UK. Everybody gonna to say you K, reluctantly, because most of this press don’t f**k wit me. Estelle once said to me, cool down down don’t act a fool now now. I always act a fool oww oww. Aint nothing new now now. He crazy, I know what ya thinkin. White Pino I know what you’re drinkin. Rap singer. Chain Blinger. Holla at the next chick soon as you’re blinkin. What’s you’re persona. I got this American Brama. Am I shallow cuz all my clothes designer. Dressed smart like a London Bloke. Before he speak his suit bespoke. And you thought he was cute before. Look at this P Coat, Tell me he’s broke. And I know you’re not into all that. I heard your lyrics I feel your spirit. But I still talk that CAAASH. Cuz a lot wacks want to hear it. And I’m feelin like Mike at his Baddest. The Pips at they Gladys. And I know they love it. so to hell with all that rubbish.”

Pete, you’re always running here and there. You feel you’re not wanted anywhere.

Using the lyrics from Ben for their vows was hilarious.

Gwen: Have you got the salad?

Doris: Oh this effing salad, Gwen. Look, I haven’t done it. I’m not doing it. End of. 

Gwen: Why?

Doris: Because I can’t be arsed. People don’t want it Gwen. They want filling up. Pies, pasties, this cheap crap. I mean, I don’t even know why I offered. Why did I offer to help someone who’s owed me £6,500 since 1992? 

Gwen: She is playing you back Dor. Fair play.

Doris: £1 a week Gwen, what does she take me for? A fool? I’ll be 140 by the time it’s repaid. 

Gwen: Well look, Dor, I’ll do the salad then. 

Doris: No. Why should you? You’re defeating the object. Now, just leave it. Let her come up to me, as she undoubtedly will and say, “Oh, Dor, where’s the salad?” And I’ll say “Oh fatty, Where’s my cash?”